Graham Higgins Illustration - Literate Graffiti Dept.


February 10, 2011

9-2-11 How To Talk Foople

9-2-11 Fixture Night

‘First off tonight, that clash between City and Town competing in the first leg of the League Cup Challenge Trophy, and with me to look back over the highlights, as usual, Brian Brawn and Bob Brown. Brian, what did you make of City’s performance tonight?’
‘Uh, thanks Barry, well what can you say? I’d say City were very disappointing and I can’t help thinking that they’d say the same, in fact ‘disappointing’ is a bit of an understatement.’
‘To be honest Barry, there’s nothing to say. I’d say that ‘disappointing’ is an understatement judging by tonight’s peformance. It was more than disappointing and it points up what I’ve always said about the weaknesses in City’s game.’
‘That’s right, I can’t help but agree with you there and I was just thinking back to what Reg Pastie used to say when I was playing for United in the run-up to the Champions’ Cup: he said, the secret to winning the game is, in a nutshell – goals.’
‘Aye, I have nothing to add to that. You’ve got to score goals and that’s what City didn’t do tonight. That says it all, doesn’t it? They didn’t score a goal and that makes all the difference in a game like this, against another team who, let’s face it, scored goals.’
‘At the end of the day, it’s a game of winners and losers and in my experience if you’re playing a team like Town who score goals, and, y’know… like it or not, Barry, they did score goals, you can’t expect to be the winners.’
‘In fairness Brian, there are those who’d say that in the final analysis, City played the better game.’
‘Oh aye, you can’t take that away from them. In terms of passing the ball and what I call ‘playing in the right direction’ it was everything we’ve come to expect from them, but, uh, it has to be said and I’m sure you’ll have to agree, it just wasn’t enough on the night.’
‘Well let’s just look back at some of those occasions when City failed to score those goals that could have made such a difference to the result… here we are just 11 minutes into the first half and Bloke makes a run, sells a beautiful dummy to Chapman, penetrates Town’s defence and… there it is, could’ve been one-nil right there but that ball rattles the nearside post and… right into the keeper’s hands. Gordon Chubb there, ha ha, remonstrating with the defenders. ‘Where were you?’ he says…’
‘You have to ask, in fairness, where were they? If we look at that again, there’s Meesely at the edge of the box and well, I don’t know what Cheeseley was thinking of, his positioning there is … well, what can you say? That should’ve been a goal.’
‘A missed opportunity I think. Now here’s that chance on the 28 minute mark, Town really putting the pressure on City here, Doremi on loan from Napoli Atletico, very stylish player, a bit of an inknown quantity but proving himself here as he swerves around the City backfield and it looks like he’s on target for Town’s third goal, goes to shoot and… Bloke again, snatches that ball, a long pass to Dripmarsh, Dripmarsh to Flange, Flange centres, Neaps there to take it, beautiful cannon, ricochets off Cheesely and… you can hear the City fans’ dismay there as the ball lofts into the stand. Cheesely maybe hoping to redeem himself after that first sortie, getting medical attention. City players clustering around there, ready for the corner, taken by Dimpson.’
‘… and as we’ve already seen, that corner kick deflected by Flumes, heads it away right to Doremi’s strong right foot; crosses it to Whingely, Whingely nips it to Farquarson-Cholmondeley and away they go to score that third goal in the first half.’
‘Town dominating the midfield, Ron McCreech there urging them on from the bench; vindication I think for that unusual 2-5-3-1 formation that’s paid dividends in the past. Town striker Hidalgo Vertigo takes a chance, a long curving ball over the heads of the City defence, Blotley gets a hand to it, but it’s too little too late and… back of the net!’
‘And that’s what makes the difference in a game like this. Town score goals, City make chances but consistently fail to follow through. If they’d just scored some goals this would’ve been a very different result.’
‘Join us after the break for highlights of play from the United/ Spoons clash in the European Champions Shield Trophy Cup and more analysis from Brian and Bob here…’

  1. I thought that was an ordinary league game, Brian, sorry, Graham, not a challenge match? Well, not that ordinary, as Town won. I would have taken no notice, but there was nothing else on the local breakfast show this Wednesday morning. Whatever else was going on in the world, it was apparently far less interesting than Town getting five goals in 35 minutes. And someone got a hat trick. They kept mentioning the hat trick. I think you may have some of the names wrong, but you have the general idea. One team got more goals than the other. This is supposed to be highly significant.

    Apparently Town’s 5-1 away win over City puts them up near the top of the table. Into the automatic promotion places. Excitement! Rejoicing! I could have done without people rejoicing at three in the morning, below the Tortoise Loft windows the following night. Of course, this is just Town, whose fortunes one can’t help hearing about, year after year. From past experience, by the time automatic promotion places turn into promotions, or even playoffs, somehow they have just slipped away once again….

    Apparently some people take foopball seriously.

    Comment by Sue Jones — February 10, 2011 @ 8:55 pm
  2. Some people very close to home take foople very seriously and are going to Wembley very soon for some very important, er, clash, as I’ve learned they’re called in the meeja. I think the winners wilI get a Cup for their pains.
    I shall probably be here pigging out on Photoshop and ukulele and making sure I tune in to the ‘Sport now…’ part of the news to discover what the mood is likely to be if City, in this case, lose to, um, the other team, whoever they are. Doesn’t bear thinking about.

    Comment by admin — February 11, 2011 @ 12:10 am
  3. Yes I take it seriously. And yes I feel agrieved when I feel that the game is mocked and ridiculed. So you don’t get it. Leave it to those who do.

    So why is it all so important to me? The fact is that the World can be a pretty miserable place. There are bombs and wars. There is famine and disease. There are terrible crimes of violence. There is an endemic drug problem and corruption in public life. Watching the news on television is one of the most depressing things that anyone can do. Is there nothing nice or good going on in the entire world?

    Yes there is. It’s called football. People in every country in the world love the game. They love it’s passion, colour, intensity, skill, tactical appreciation, pace and beauty.

    Football truly is an international language. You could walk into a remote village in Africa and ask the people who they support and they will tell you; they could have a conversation about Manchester United or David Beckham. If you took a football with you and kicked it to someone they would kick it back.

    In World War one there was the famous occasion when the troops took time out from trying to kill each other in order to have a game of footy.
    The USA could play Iraq at football. Bosnia have played Serbia. Football is one thing in this sad world that can unite us all. I think that makes it pretty important.

    The game gives so much pleasure to millions of people around the world. We watch it, play it, talk about it, read about it and yes, disagree and argue about it, but we are all united by a common love of the game.

    So do I think Bill Shankly was right? No it’s not more important than life or death, but it’s pretty close.

    Comment by justme — February 11, 2011 @ 3:04 pm
  4. The post was about post-match conversations on TV football programmes.

    Comment by admin — February 11, 2011 @ 9:25 pm

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